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Story series
Posted: 19 March 2012 04:06 PM   [ Ignore ]
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On an internet website called Wattpad, I’m writing a series called Desert Rogues. I have competed and published the first book, Desert Rogues: The Shadows, and now I am writing my second book, Desert Rogues: Blooded Nightmares. Here is a part of the first chapter which I have just completed and I just wanted to know if it sounded ok.

‘Screams sliced the air as women were hung by their finger nails. A knife sliced across their skin causing them to whimper in pain. However, none spoke. A woman on a wooden table came into view. Her screams floated above her has a hand crawled onto her wrist. A finger nail sliced her veins and a mouth started to suck her dry…
The picture changed to a town. It’s building were on fire, dead bodies scattered over the floor, rubble was deposited everywhere. Dragons roamed the air, setting fire to everyone and everything. A girl stood in the centre of the madness. Her face slowly came into view, however her cloak covered it. The girl’s arms were stretched away from her, red aura spewing from her finger tips. Her eyes opened suddenly and light flowed through them. Out of the blue, she brought her arms in front of her and then a puff of smoke covered the scene. The view changed to a different town which I recognised. The town was Shankai. I was walking through it and everything I touched died. Even people. Kaiden walked towards me and smiled.
“Louisa.” He ran towards me and tried to hug me. I pushed him off, not wanting to touch him. Suddenly, his body went limp and stiff. Kaiden’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped in a heap to the ground.
“NOOOOO KAIDEN!” I screamed. I looked at my hands. I was a monster…’
I awoke screaming. Harkek was muffling my screams and shouts again so I thanked her.
“What happened this time?” Harkek asked slithering around my neck.
“It was the same as yesterday, but then when the girl placed her hands in front of her, the view changed. I was walking in Shankai and everything I touched died. Kaiden saw me and tried to hug me. My arm brushed against his and he went all limp and collapsed to the floor.” I sobbed.
“You need to tell someone what’s happening.” Harkek said soothingly.
“No.” I snapped, “I can’t. Obvi and Verid will just laugh at me.”
“I’m sure they w…” I placed my index finger on Harkek’s lips. My body gave up and I lay back in bed. What was happening? Were these just normal nightmares? Or was it something much darker? I lay awake in my small bed and gazed upon my bland, white ceiling. Sleep wasn’t possible at this moment…

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I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a second that I am one of them.

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Posted: 19 March 2012 05:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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COOL. Im writing a novel at the moment.

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BLOOD & MAGIG is all that I READ, all that I DRINK and all that I PRACTICE
Everyone’s destiny is wrote in a big story book, no matter how strong a person is pages CANNOT be torn from it…

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Posted: 19 March 2012 05:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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:D Send me the link for it if it’s on an online book world.

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I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a second that I am one of them.

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Posted: 19 March 2012 05:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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No its not. Its on word (LOL)... I might get it published if its good.

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BLOOD & MAGIG is all that I READ, all that I DRINK and all that I PRACTICE
Everyone’s destiny is wrote in a big story book, no matter how strong a person is pages CANNOT be torn from it…

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Posted: 19 March 2012 05:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Cool :) I’ll have to read it :D

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I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a second that I am one of them.

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Posted: 19 March 2012 05:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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(Ignore post)

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I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a second that I am one of them.

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Posted: 19 March 2012 07:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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you know, i not going to read that incase i spoil it for myself :P

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It’s the Demons in my head that Comfort me.

You will have good days and bad days. Don’t let one bad day turn into a bad month.

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Posted: 19 March 2012 07:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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^read what? Did u like the story and plot?

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BLOOD & MAGIG is all that I READ, all that I DRINK and all that I PRACTICE
Everyone’s destiny is wrote in a big story book, no matter how strong a person is pages CANNOT be torn from it…

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Posted: 19 March 2012 07:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Hey you know I’m not on Wattpad I’m on Fiction Press and FanFiction.Net though.Lovely story.And this hilarious parody of Demonata is here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7146837/2/Lord_Boss
IT IS HILARIOUS.To change chapters there should be this thing in the corner.

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“I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men.”

“Before you begin I must warn you… nothing here… is vegetarian” Hannibal Lecter - Hannibal

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Posted: 19 March 2012 07:52 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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i not going to read what charlotte put cuz i reading the story. and your story only went up to 3rd chapter.
and i reading ^ that now! :D

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It’s the Demons in my head that Comfort me.

You will have good days and bad days. Don’t let one bad day turn into a bad month.

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Posted: 20 March 2012 03:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Chapter 3 is my favourite.Oh and Charlieninjaa I love your first story <3

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“I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men.”

“Before you begin I must warn you… nothing here… is vegetarian” Hannibal Lecter - Hannibal

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Posted: 20 March 2012 04:07 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Thanks :)<3

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I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a second that I am one of them.

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