|
READY TO 'DIE'
FOR YOUR
CHILDREN?
I'm working in
the kitchen when
my
daughter comes
in. Around her
neck is a brown
cardboard tag
that reads:
"AgnesTait,
age7, orfan."
She informs me
that she and her
brother Albert
are being
evacuated
because their
parents have
been killed
in a bombing
raid. I nod
solemnly and
try not to take
offence that,
yet again,
I appear to have
been killed off.
My death varies
in my children's
games. I've been
lost at sea, hit
by
bombs and killed
by a knight.
It's
essential that
I'm out of the
way so that they
can begin
playing
their favourite
game of
"orphans".
My children are
not
alone in this'
fantasy.
Mary, a mother
of two from
Gloucestershire,
found that her
daughter,
Hannah had told
everyone in her
Brownie pack
that her parents
were both dead
and that the
lady who picked
her up was her
aunt. Mary only
discovered about
her own untimely
death when the
Pixie leader
squeezed her arm
at the end of
the session and
told her, with
tears in her
eyes, what a
good job she was
doing.
"Everyone
laughed, but I
worried
about it
endlessly
afterwards and
talked to my
husband about
whether I should
take Hannah to
see someone
or try and be a
'better'
mother," says
Mary. "It was
difficult to
realise that
being an orphan
to her was a
very romantic
ideal."
This doesn't
surprise
bestslling children's
author Cressida
Cowell at all.
"The idea of
being an orphan
is hugely
attractive to
children as it
gives them a
sense of
empowerment,
especially now,
in an age when
children are so
much mqre
protected than
they once were,
when the thought
of limitless
freedom is
intoxicating,"
she says.
"No one is there
to tell them
what to do and
they can take
control."
For this reason,
many children's
authors quickly
lose their
heroes' parents
so that they can
have the sort of
adventures that
just couldn't
happen if a
responsible
adult were
around.
Certainly a
quick look at my
daughter's
book and DVD
shelves reveals
the root
of her desire.
It starts with
The Story of
Babar,
whose hero
tragically loses
his
mother but then
ends up as King
of the
Elephants. This
sits next to
A Little
Princess
in which Sara
Crewe has a far
more adventurous
time as a
parentless
servant than as
a pampered rich
girl.
'Then there's
Peter Pan,
and who
wouldn't rather
be a lost boy
than the
rather prim
Wendy?
The list goes
on, with films
such as The
Jungle Book,
Annie
and Oliver
Twist. And,
of course,
there's Harry
Potter, probably
the most famous
orphan of all,
who
would never have
been let loose
to fight
Lord Voldemort
if James and
Lilly had
been tucking him
into bed. In all
these
works, the
dreadful reality
of losing a
parent is
quickly glossed
over to get to
the adventure
part. The same
is true of
Superman,
Spider-Man and
Batman, whose
parents would
never have
allowed such
death-defying
deeds.
Dr Lisa
Sainsbury, a
senior lecturer
in
children's
literature, says
it's not
surprising that
orphans are
alluring:
"The classic
convention is
that they end
up in a better
place than where
they
started. Their
'new" parents
are often
improved." So
James Henry
Trotter's
parents may have
been killed by
an
escaped
rhinoceros (in
Roald Dahl's
James and the
Giant Peach)
but he
finishes up
famous in New
York with a
surrogate family
of giant
insects.
Similarly it's
made quite clear
that the
Fossil girls in
Ballet Shoes
have a far
better
upbringing than
they would have
had if their
parents had
lived.
Cressida Cowell
thinks that
playing orphans
is another way
for children to
face their worst
nightmare: "As parents,
we try to wrap
things up in
a positive light
for children,
but in fact
many children
like that
certain edge
of darkness."
This enjoyment
of the macabre
by the
young has
brought success
to children's
author Darren
Shan, who writes
dark
adventures for
the over-10s. In
one of
his books, the
parents are
eaten by
demons. "My
readers love
those bits,"
he says.
"Children read
in a very
different way
from grown-ups.
They
don't connect it
to themselves in
the same
way adults do.
They just think:
'Hey, that
sounds cool.' "
Where Shan says
the rules change
is
when you deal
with the death
of a child:
"Children tend
to see adults
almost like
aliens and their
death doesn't
upset
them, they just
see it as a way
to freedom. But
they connect far
more with the
death of a child
and you have to
be extremely
careful if you
write
about that"
So take heart
from the authors
who
know. If your
child informs
you that
you've drunk
poison or been
squashed by a
bus, it doesn't
mean that you've
been failing in
your parental
duttes, but
rather that he
or she is ready
for an
adventure
without you.
|
